Hope & Change

All posts tagged Hope & Change

Obama’s Fantasy Island

Published June 26, 2009 by glaumland

So many people probably don’t remember this TV show so let me clue you in:

Someone (say Gina, the librarian) paid for a vacation at Fantasy Island. Mr. Roarke (played by the wonderful Ricardo Montalbon) created their fantasies for them to live out (let’s say Gina wanted to fall in love with a rock star). Someone from their real lives end up with a surprise vacation (like Ed, the janitor, who’s always had a thing for Gina). Gina goes on to find out that the rock-n-roll lifestyle isn’t her cup of tea¬†and that rockers may be hi-fi but usually not fi (that’s fidelity for you youngsters). So Gina hooks up with Ed, and the guy who had a fantasy about being a rocker gets his vacation…get the idea?

Anyway, I think Obama needs a vacation on fantasy island. We all know what his fantasies are: instant healthcare reform, instant banking reform, instant car reform, instant diplomacy with rogue nations, instant power reform…many with price tags in the trillions.

Anyway, on Fantasy Island Obama would have as much money and cooperation as he needed to see his goals accomplished. He would see the people dying because they were too risky to spend precious government medical dollars on. Obama would see the financial world in a bigger mess because poor policies leads to more poor policies (oops – are we there yet!). He would see that by-passing the bankruptcy system doesn’t create a brand new healthy auto industry. He would see that the nations who hate us won’t change just because he wears an “America Sucks!” button. And he would wear a CO2 monitor to see just how much of a carbon emissions problem he is, especially when he’s speachifying..

Would Obama then see the light? Would he convert to conservatism? No, I doubt it. He’d probably be one of those odd screwballs who got sucked into Fantasy Island and never got out. Now THAT’S my fantasy!

Until next time…

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I LIKE Obama’s Weenie Diplomacy – But Can I Provide The Weenies?

Published June 24, 2009 by glaumland

It’s been a while since I’ve posted…life has been really busy. Hoping to get back to a somewhat quasi normal schedule. But I just couldn’t pass this topic up!

Frankly, as our nation’s Independence Day approaches, I’ve been giving alot more thought as to how we should celebrate. We generally have great fun at our house every year, either spending time with family or friends, but always the evening ends with a BANG – literally.

And as I heard Obama’s invitation to the Iranian Ambassador’s world-wide to visit the American Embassies on July 4th for a celebration, I was certainly bemused. OK, I celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but more for the Corona than any sense of Mexican Independence. And I’m mildly interested in Juneteenth, but mostly because I can’t quite figure out what day it is. I go green for St. Paddy’s, and sign me up any time of the year for Oktoberfest. We always try to eat Chinese around the Chinese New Year – again not for any indepences or political reasons but only to see if it’s the year of my critter. You might say I have a very worldly view when it comes to drinking and eating.

But I wondered how exactly the Iranian Embassadors would react to an invitation to eat hotdogs and apple pie. I’m pretty certain that they don’t eat pork, but how do they feel about mystery meat? Do they do condiments? I mean, trying to plan this meal could get very complicated for an administration that doesn’t have a Party Planning Czar.

So I figured I would help Mr Obama. First, I get some Swine Flu infected pork (sorry piggies for the misinformation, but it IS just too funny to pass up) and make up a bunch of weenies. Then find some E-coli infected tomatos for ketchup. And surely there’s someplace to find Salmonella laced mustard (probably that Grey Poopon kind). Finally, I’d get a bakery to make some hot from the oven white anthrax buns. Now that’s a meal I’d be happy to serve those Ambassadors. Why I’d even be so generous as to invite all of the Ambassadors from North Korea and Venezuala as well. No reason to leave out any of our former enemies. I mean, come on now, this is the new, lovey-dovey weenie diplomacy at its finest.

Plus, I was a little concerned about planning for seating. Do you think they’d even show up? I mean, they’ve been trying to destroy Americans in the Middle East for 30 years. It hardly seems reasonable to think that they would change their views after a little back yard party. So I’ve decided that the parties should be served buffet style, so everyone can mingle and chittychat. And if a really sweet apology is also served up, maybe the Iranians would consider bringing the fireworks to end the evening.

Oh Darn! Now I see Obama rescinded the invitations for a weenie-fest. Just because they hadn’t RSVP’d or anything. Guess we’ll have to go for plan B…

Halloween Trick-or-Treating with the Iranian, No Korean, and Venezulan Ambassadors. Come as your favorite Dictator or American President. Carter & Obama masks given out at the door for anyone without a costume.

Until next time…

Mr Hope & Change

Published February 22, 2009 by glaumland

I think he meant that he hope’d he could change, but I think we can all see he really hasn’t. But to be honest, he has lived up to everything I expected.You see, I have a litmus test for politicians. Really pretty basic, but it’s amazing how many people don’t measure up.

Test #1 – What is their relationship with God? And I’m not talking about the photo op standing outside of church looking churchy. I like to know that a candidate/politician lives out the Christian life they claim to have.

Test #2 – What is their relationship with their family, and especially with their spouse. I’ve no respect for cheaters. Period.

Test #3 – How do they treat others? Are they respectful of other people or do they act as if the world revolves around them? Do they keep their promises. And finally,

Test #4 – How do they treat America? Do their words and actions hold her up, or do they muddy her reputation. Do they understand that they are living in MY house and working in MY office building? Do they realize that they are paid with MY money, and that all of the parties and jets and paperwork are paid by ME?

So one month into his administration, how IS Obama doing?

Test #1 – Fail. Anyone who would attend a church for 20 years and expose their children to the vulgarity that is preached cares more for worldly matters than listening to God’s Word. I can’t tell from anything he says that God has any part of his decision making or agenda. And, of course, he claims to be Christian, but he spends a lot of time making up to the Muslim world. Hmmmm….

Test #2 – Pass. It is easy to see that Obama genuinely cares for his wife, and his daughters appear to be happy, well-balanced children.

Test #3 – Fail. I knew from the beginning that Obama wouldn’t or couldn’t keep everything he promised. Whether that was from stupidity or ambition, I’m still not sure. We know he’s ambitious – just look at his meteoric rise in office. And his two autobiographies (like anyone cared who he was back then – most people wait to write their life story AFTER they’ve done something). Then we have little comments like, “I won,” that sounds more like grade school whining, and showing up to meetings late (again proving that the world should revolve around him). How pathetic. And as for transparency, let’s start with REAL birth records and¬†college transcripts and medical records. How about the promise to give up the Blackberry? Or the promise of bipartisanship (oh, I’m sorry…he DID invite some folks over o watch the Super Bowl). Why does he get a pass when no one else does?

Test #4 – Fail. While thousands of people are suffering from cold, Obama turns the heat up in the Oval Office (and I’M paying the electric bill). He’s surrounded himself with lobbyists (broken promise), tax cheats, and idiots (the Energy Secretary that doesn’t know he’s in charge of oil; the Transportation Secretary who wants to tax us by the mile; the Treasury Secretary who’s too dumb to figure his own taxes; the Secretary of State who just told China that as long as the money flows our way, you can treat your people anyway you want; he let two power-hungry morons put together a “stimulus” bill that was so porky it oinked (But he said “there are no earmarks in this package.” Nobody read the bill since it was rushed through in the dark of night, and to pass it the Dems had to wake up Teddy K and wheel him in to sign. And our dear leader has been jetting around the country campaigning for his programs…how much fuel does Air Force One use, anyway?

But wait! There’s exciting news today! Obama said that starting in April my family can expect to have an extra $65 every month! WOW! I wonder how I’ll invest that? I know – I’ll send it to the Chinese Christians, I know they’re going to need help.

At least is seems like some people are starting to come out of the trance (even MSM) and see Obama for what he really is. You know, I think he would have done really great on Baywatch. Solving beach & relationship problems one hour at a time, and lookin’ good doin’ it. Yep, he missed his calling.